Why do we have to smell so bad? And everything that comes out of us, why does it all have to smell worse? Why does shit have to smell so bad? Is it so we won’t eat it? Is that really why? Was that just how stupid our prehistoric ancestors were?

God said, “They might eat their own pooh—so, uh, I’ll make it real stinky—yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”

Did prehistoric man (or woman) take a look at what they just squeezed out of their assholes and say, “Huh. That’s kinda like what the chickens do—although it’s brown and more cylindrical than spherical. And, yeah, it doesn’t have a shell—THANK GOD. But I say we drop it in a pot of boiling water for 12 minutes and see what happens. I say, we scramble it up with cheese, ham, onion, and green peppers and call it something from Denver—”

That’s when God stepped in and said, “No, no, that’s shit. Nothing like an egg. Believe you me.” God waves his magic finger, “And, voilĂ ! There’s the stink to prove it.”

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