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Showing posts from January, 2005

At The Mall

Watching her watching me watching her fold lingerie.

Virginity

George Bernard Shaw lost his at twenty-nine. Two comments: first, this is yet another thing I have in common with Mr. Shaw; second, now I don’t feel so bad. Mark Twain lost his at thirty-four. This makes me feel even better. "Man is the only animal that blushes—or needs to," Twain said.

The Truth?

What you have to understand is, the FireVaney’s more insecure than you will ever know; more insecure than you'll ever want to know; and, anyway, more insecure than he will ever let on. And, what's more, he's definitely more insecure than he ever wants you to acknowledge in his presence—even though he's admitting to as much here . As far as you are concerned, the FireVaney, in the flesh, is a brick wall of strength and emotion. When you see him, in the flesh, nothing penetrates. So, don't even try. As for the veracity of anything you read here, question it. Always. Anyway, thank you for reading. But right now, the FireVaney's got a shit-load of snow to go out and shovel.

Homemaker Me

Why is it impossible to rid the kitchen of all its crumbs?

THIS side of THAT midnight

Z, very apparently wasted, repeats several times, “I’m so loud I can’t hear myself!” Or, something to that effect. Then, she says to me, “Put that in your blog!” Or, something to that effect.

THIS side of THAT midnight

There’s nothing like a bar of “Gold Pressed Latinum” smeared over with peanut butter. That is, when compared to an Andrew Jackson, or a Susan B. Anthony, smeared over with peanut butter. And, yes, I’ve tried all three. Chipped a tooth, even, on the Susan B.

THIS side of THAT midnight

Many, many things I cannot react to at all at the moment of their occurrence. All these suppose-to-be-right- then reactions, they hit me and manifest themselves much, much later. And it’s a stinker, when, for example, you are, essentially, phaser stunned with kisses all over your face.

New Year's Resolutions:

1.) Get laid. 2.) Get published. (And, yes, in that order.)