As a cloud, I could scud around the world, look down (with cloudy eyes) and see what’s happening everywhere. I’d have a bird’s-eye view of the Taj Mahal, the Eiffel Tower, Mount Everest and thousands of bikini-clad women. But truly, as a cloud, I wouldn’t take an interest in any of those things. Instead, I’d marvel at the sun and the distant stars. I’d feel sorry for the moon, since it has no clouds. Most of all, I’d yearn to break free of Earth’s atmosphere and its orbit, so to drift across the cosmos on my own. But this assumes many things. Suppose for a moment that clouds can take interest, marvel and yearn. Allow that clouds are inexplicably sentient in ways that defy current scientific understanding. Say we could interpret the behavior of clouds. Is fog, for example, little more than an asshole of a cloud? Or is fog a clingy, depressed cloud? Maybe fog is a cloud that simply wants to cuddle.