PART V - 10 MAY 2005 MICROCASSETTE RECORDING TRANSCRIPT

RESUME PLAYBACK

PATRON A 
Not all of us, but a lot of us, or enough of us to make a difference, we don’t know what to do with our free time. Heh. “Free.” When time’s not “free,” what is it? What’re we doin’? What’re you doin?

PATRON B
Me? 

PATRON A 
You. 
Everybody. 
Everybody who’s not a shut-in. 
Everybody who’s not a vegetable. 

PATRON B
I, uh — 

PATRON A 
You’re prostituting yourself. Yeah? Yeah. Or tryin’ to. Makin’ all the moolah you can. But when finally you’re forced to call it quits for the day, what’s to do then? 

PATRON B 
Well. I — 

PATRON A 
We’ve — 
some of us — 
we’ve made all this money. Or just enough. Now what? 

PATRON B 
I like — 

PATRON A
Some folks? What they’ll do is they’ll sit around and they’ll marvel at it. Or… so to speak. They’ll spend hours reviewing and tinkering with their, what, their “portfolios.” Ooooh. “Portfolios.”  Some’ll even brag. You know. whoever will listen. You name-it-captive audience. I dunno, like a cabbie. Like a bank teller. Like a son-in-law. Like, like you and me. Kinda. And, yeah, a few too many of us’ll gamble it all away. Most of us, though, we spend it. Most of us, our lives are all about making money. 
Making money, 
spending money, 
making money, 
spending money, 
making money, 
spending monkey… 

Heh. 
“Monkey.” 

Makin’ monkey.
Spendin’ monkey. 
Makin’ monkey. 
Spankin’ monkey. 

Heh. 
Spankin’. 

Ya know? 

Money, monkey. 
Monkey money. 

Whichever. 
Whatever. 

Ya hear me? 

[Pause.

PATRON B 
Look. I really  — 

PATRON A 
Spending’s whole lot easier than making. Ain’t it? You think that’s not on purpose? No, it makes sense. I mean, c’mon, who’d want to make money if it was a bitch to spend it, right? Eh? 

Which is why inflation’s such a great thing. Really. 

Inflation, for the vast majority of us, means you can never make too much money. Inflation guarantees you never will. That’s why Bush is so good for the country. The more Bushes we have in office, the more expensive everything’s gonna get, and the harder you’re gonna have to work. It’s beautiful. ‘Cause otherwise we’d all be these lazy bums. Like me. Who just bitches and moans, really. 

Like I’ve got something better to do. 

I’m just bored. 

Though I haven’t robbed a bank, 
stolen a car, picked your pocket. 

Yet. 

PATRON B 
Yet? 

PATRON A 
Oh, I’m sure I’ll get around to it. Bitchin’ and moanin’ about the world? It’s just the first step down the stairway… freshly waxed, if they still wax stairways… which, if you’re trying to address overpopulation, by culling it, makes sense… but bitchin’ and moan’ is the just the first step down the stairway from heaven… to… delinquency. Unless you got the chops to be a rockstar. ‘Cause after you’ve bitched and moaned long enough, you maybe finally discover that such an activity gets you nowhere. 

So what’s to do? 

You start breakin’ things, 
stealin’ things, 
robbin’ folk. 

Or… 
at least… 
you’re on your way. 

Yeah? 
Right? 

Dude? 

Where ya… 
Where ya goin’? 

Dude. 
Come on…

Can’t a man… 
Can’t a man… 

…opine? 

Aloud? 

Jeez. 
This world today. 

END TRANSCRIPT

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