PART I - 10 MAY 2005 MICROCASSETTE RECORDING TRANSCRIPT

SOURCE MEDIA 
SONY “CLEAR VOICE PLUS” 
MICROCASSETTE-CORDER M-450 / 
TDK MC60 MICROCASSETTE / 
TWO “UNKNOWN” PATRONS 
(IDENTIFIED AS “A” AND “B”) 
OF CHICAGO COFFEE CADRE 
(STORE #7) 

BEGIN PLAYBACK 

PATRON A 
So many times… 
So many times… 
So many 
mother effin’ times… 

the “For Rent” sign? 
Yeah. 

Or the ad? 

It’ll tell ya: call
Call… 
for the rental rate. 
Call? 

PATRON B 
Mm-hm. 

PATRON A 
Why? 
Why waste your time? 
Why waste my time? 
Why? 

PATRON B 
Hm. 

PATRON A
Is it ever really negotiable? If you wanna rent the place, you’ve gotta pay what the slumlord wants you to pay. Right? Anyways, it’s usually the goddamn janitor who shows you the dump; and it’s not like this dope has the power to negotiate anything. And here’s a guy, the goddamn janitor guy, who, nowadays, he’s always got a title more, more, what? Politically correct, if not, at least, more, more ego-boosting than the title of “janitor.” 

PATRON B 
Yeah.

PATRON A 
No, no: He’s not the “janitor,” he’s the “Building Engineer.” 

PATRON B 
Right. 

PATRON A
Here’s a guy paid to do the least possible amount of work. Not that it’s his fault. No no no no no no no. Nuh-uh. It’s his job to restrain himself. A hard working janitor? Mm-mm. He’s no good. Why? ‘Cause that guy’s only gonna increase a slumlord’s overhead. Right? There’s a cost to upkeep. No? Materials and labor. Yeah? 

PATRON B 
I, uh... 
suppo — 

PATRON A 
Guy that shows you the place, he’s the same guy you can’t count on to keep the bathtub drain from backin’ up every other week. Sorry, he is not negotiating the rent with you. 

PATRON B 
Nope. 

PATRON A 
So if I can only rent at six hundred a month… max,  and your so-called “efficiency unit…” your, your… what’s really an ego-deflating — dare I say —  soul-destroying excuse for a place to call home “sweet”  home… and that’s in quotes ‘cause it’s bullshit… your, your… Smaller Than A Goddamn Jail Cell to Rent when all I make is six hundred something a month? And your dump’s going for some nine hundred fifty? Kiss my ass. I’m not signing your goddamn lease. 

So when he shows me out the alley exit, I go, “Hey, uh, what’s the monthly on the dumpster? That’s including the lid, right? Wheels, too?” 

PAUSE PLAYBACK

Popular posts from this blog

Potted

Peekaboo?

Use The Hole