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Hold down a job?

Check.

Pay bills on time?

Check.

Save money?

Check.

Obey the Rules of the Road?

Check.

Recycle?

Check.

Observe common courtesy (holding open doors, giving up seats, etc.)?

Check.

Charitable?

Check.

Exercise?

Check.

Avoid junk food?

Check.

Eat your Wheaties?

Check.

Find someone who’ll love you back?

Find someone who’ll love you back?

Find someo—

Shut up.

But it’s always something else, isn’t it?
Isn't it?

Shut up, I said.

You’ll have love, but you won’t have money. Love, but no job. Love, but you’ll be sick with cancer, AIDS, or MS. You’ll have love, but you’ll also have alcoholism; you’ll have an addiction to crystal meth. Love, but you’ll be in jail. Love, but suicide bombers are blowing your world to bits. You’ll have love, until everyone around you starves to death. Love, but you’re in a Persistent Vegetative State. Love, but you've purposely overstated last year’s earnings by several billion. And you just got caught…

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