Frightful?

-
No.
The weather outside? 
Not “frightful” at all.

Me?
I look FORWARD 
to weather
SO COLD
that it
CRACKS
my skin
regardless
of how much 
Lubriderm
I smear on. 

Honestly
(though I AM honest 
about the knuckles
cracked bloody)*
what’s great about 
winter 
is 
LESS NOISE, 
NO bugs,
and,
seemingly,  
less crime. 

Plus, 
with the snow,
all the drivers 
around me 
are 
FORCED
to drive 
the speed 
limit
WITH me. 
Finally.

Now,
assuming you’re not
homeless, 
you can always 
come in 
from the cold. 
Air conditioning, 
however, 
when outside it’s 90 plus, 
is not required by law. 

Also, 
I love my blue jeans, 
my heavy leather coat, 
and my long, black 
“made in England” 
overcoat.
These habiliments don’t 
show
how chubby 
my tummy 
is, 
or how scrawny
my 
arms and legs 
are.
I feel 
tougher, 
cooler, 
richer, 
wearing these raiments. 

And since we’re here, 
everything that’s NOT 
religious, 
but, rather, 
ritualistic
about Xmas—
the lights, 
the music, 
the parties, 
the sales, 
the gift giving,
and all those 
old 
Holiday TV specials
—bring ‘em on!

No,
I don’t watch them any more—
the Rudolf, 
the Peanuts, 
the Frosty the Snowman
specials
—but it’s good to know 
they still show ‘em!

And, 
yes, 
there was a time 
when even I 
BELIEVED 
...in Santa.
 
And, 
yes, 
there was also a time 
when I 
BELIEVED
that “professional” wrestling 
was real. 
Discovering that 
particular 
lie 
truly broke my heart. 
But Santa’s existence, 
I was always suspicious of.

22 December 2004

*Not really. Still prefer the cold, though.  

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