S T R E A M # 8 (A FableVaney)

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The dog is in pain tonight because he can’t find his pink slippers that he buried in the pond next to the weeping willow tree. The weeping willow tree likes to play practical jokes on all of the creatures in the forest. The creatures in the forest like to gather and bitch and moan about all of the weeping willow’s dastardly pranks. One day, an apple fell from the apple tree and hit the weeping willow in its eye. “Ouch!” cried the weeping willow. The dog overheard this exclamation of pain and organized an emergency meeting of all the forest creatures. He said to them, “My fellow creatures— ” But the dog was cut off by a chorus of chipmunks. The chipmunks chanted, “YOU’RE not a proper creature. YOU’RE a pet!” The dog sighed. He wanted to address that point, but he didn’t want to lose sight of his main point. So he pressed on. “My fellow creatures — wild and domesticated alike — ” Again, the dog was cut off. The chipmunks chanted, “YOU are the only domesticated creature here!” The dog sighed once again. He pleaded, “Just hear me out, please.” The chipmunks chanted, “Why should we?” The chipmunks turned around to face the crowd. They chanted, “Don’t you all see what this mutt is doing to us? This mutt, by the very fact that he’s gathered us here, is making us LESS wild! Worse, he’s taught us all how to speak English!” The dog needed to express his original point, so he pressed on, “Creatures! The weeping willow tree cried, ‘Ouch!’ I heard it cry ‘Ouch’ when the apple tree dropped an apple down upon it.” Various voices from the crowd shouted, “Impossible! All of the apple trees are shorter than that weeping willow!” Other creatures shouted, “Go back to your dog house, Fido!” And yet others shouted, “Get LEASHED! Have your master walk you and play fetch!” The dog whined and left with his tail between his legs. On his way home he passed by the weeping willow. He swore he could hear it chuckling (rather than weeping). So, with his teeth, the dog picked a rotting apple up off the ground and flung it at the chuckling willow. The tree laughed outright. The dog trotted up to it, raised his right hind leg, and marked the tree as his territory. The willow wept. The moral of this story is, naturally, to never eat bananas when you’ve sat on a soft sofa all day. But, in any case, the tree was allergic to bananas. But, you see, the tree always had heard good things about banana splits. One day, long ago, when the dog and the weeping willow were still friends, the dog gave the weeping willow a banana spilt. The tree took it in its branches, but could only splat its bark with the sweet treat — as it had no apparent mouth. The dog remembered this and then wondered how, on Earth, could any weeping willow cry, “Ouch!” Bottom reached. 

15 April 2008 

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